I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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