you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize