dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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