we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
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OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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