Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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