I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize