I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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