Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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