you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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