Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
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I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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