I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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