Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize