First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize