Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize