i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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