I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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