peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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