i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize