He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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