Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

(631): View more from New York

U should. Its a good ice breaker

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(740): Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night (631): U should. Its a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/6sdf

Replies (10) Good night (3517) Bad night (610)
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(415): View more from California

I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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(415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc

Replies (15) Good night (627) Bad night (2041) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.

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(607): I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that. http://tfl.nu/9hhk

Replies (28) Good night (526) Bad night (5034)
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(702): View more from Nevada

think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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(702): think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010. http://tfl.nu/zikd

Replies (17) Good night (592) Bad night (3236) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.

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(610): we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/7jhm

Replies (10) Good night (4671) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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(808): Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high. http://tfl.nu/emp7

Replies (8) Good night (5925) Bad night (970)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.

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(610): I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs. http://tfl.nu/uj0s

Replies (19) Good night (7085) Bad night (914)
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(360): View more from Washington

Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary

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(360): Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary http://tfl.nu/g62g

Replies (14) Good night (2511) Bad night (3919) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat

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(615): We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat http://tfl.nu/d487

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(914): View more from New York

I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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(914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1

Replies (6) Good night (483) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..

(707): View more from California

WOAH TOO HIGH

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(707): I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted.. (707): WOAH TOO HIGH http://tfl.nu/n7qo

Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (285)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights

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(312): I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights http://tfl.nu/amvj

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(225): View more from Louisiana

The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.

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(225): The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night. http://tfl.nu/csqe

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.

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(403): I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/f5oy

Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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(661): This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas. http://tfl.nu/nydy

Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (223)

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