Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize