You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
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I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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