Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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