If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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