i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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