I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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