Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize