She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize