I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize