Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize