so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
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I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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