you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
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I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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