just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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