24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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