im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize