Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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