Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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