Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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