ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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