Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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