We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
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you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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