I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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