Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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