Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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