When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize