i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize