my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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