You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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