remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize