It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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